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Comments from families in December 2014

FMSF News Alert - February 16, 2015

What are the emotions that families may feel when there is a reconciliation after years or decades of alienation: Optimism? Appreciation? Suspicion? Wondering? Thankful? The short comments below seem to us to capture a range of feelings.

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We are some of the fortunate parents whose daughter has come back as if nothing ever happened. We have never talked about it, but there is one granddaughter who never writes "love" on her letters or emails. We will never know what those girls were told or what they think. We are still trying to dispose of all the presents we bought for them during their fifteen years of absence.

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Ok...not sure what is up. My daughter began letting us see our granddaughters last year. There was no headway with her, she would just let me & my husband see her girls. We have always bought the girls birthday & Christmas gifts, but never have gotten a thank you...until yesterday! Yesterday, she thanked me & sent me a picture of my granddaughter opening her birthday present! Crazy! I don’t know what this means & have no expectation of anything further. I am just cautiously optimistic.

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Just a note. My birthday was yesterday (82) and I received flowers from my estranged daughter. First time in three years and this time "Love" was added to her name. First time in twenty years. I am just savoring the joy, not trying to understand what this means. Thank you and FMSF for helping me get to this point.

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My daughter called me about a year ago, after no communication for 10 years. After my initial shock, we spoke pleasantly for over an hour. No mention was made about her accusations of abuse by her then deceased father and my supposed knowledge of this. Since then I have sent cards for birthdays and Christmas and some packages for holidays. She calls me infrequently and talks pleasantly but there is no mention of cards of gifts. If I mention a particular item sent, she will thank me and seem very pleased. Otherwise, there is no acknowledgment of correspondence.

Her brothers don’t want to jeopardize this fragile relationship but they have suggested she may realize that since I am getting older, she may not want to be left out of the will. How very sad that a family would come to this suspicion because of irresponsible therapy by an incompetent counselor.

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Pamela and J. Bean